Showing posts with label grief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grief. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

The self destructive life of an Artist

Wanted to share this about the life of an Artist

How we put ourselves down not only as artists, but human beings. I am so guilty of many of these:
How we really can uplift ourselves, by first stop looking for others approval. We have to learn how to make ourselves happy. Remember how babies, in their innocence, can sit and play and laugh all by themselves without a care in the world? We need to empty our minds and get back to that innocence.

I am guilty of self-sabotage. I am re-learning/re-teaching myself how to love living with me. I am going to live for me, create my babies with love as always. Because, there is someone out there that will find and appreciate my talents for mine alone. I grant myself permission to be human! So there, got that off my chest!

I will soon be putting a very pretty Camelah Elaine photo shoot for you to see (ok, not the entire shoot, but some very enchanting photos). She is just adorable, Kenzie sculpt by Donna RuBert.

See ya soon, peace, love, power and God Bless!

From my heart to yours... Hugs, Judie www.loveisforevernursery.com

Friday, March 22, 2013

I had to try it

I truly hope that everyone had a very nice Valentine's Day. It's just not the same for me, definitely a day for lovers!
 
So, I've been busy trying to get my taxes together so I can file, finally finished that today. I broke down and got me a "NEATDESK" and love it! I was so sick of pieces of paper here, paper there I could scream. I can see the bottom of my desk again!!! Highly recommend if you are like me, I HATE CLUTTER! 
 
I finally got my big "fugly" baby Jeffery on eBay, FINALLY. If you would like to visit his auction and pray for me that he gets a home real soon! LOLROTF. Here's his auction link:
 
 
Okay I went off on another direction again! LOL I haven't painted on canvas since I painted my husband's portrait about a year and a half ago. I took the class to learn how to make my own browns for my AA babies and had to paint on canvas. Not what I wanted to do, but at least I painted what I wanted to paint. Well I got a wild hair and bought a canvas just for the heck of it. I didn't know if it would work, if I could do it or if I just wasted my money. Then I remembered what my instructor told me. "They start out ugly, you just have to keep going...so I dove in.
 
This is a beautiful picture of a bobcat in the snow that I thought was so beautiful! I choose it over the white wolf because I figured it would be the "big" challenge. So here we go:
 
 
The ugly...
 
After I drew it to scale on the canvas I looked at it for two weeks and realized that wouldn't work, So I dug out my acrylic paints by Liquitex and decided to start with the eyes. Why? I figured if I can't get them right wasn't any point in going any further. Then I started working on the nose at the same time. Another stumbling block if there is one...
 
The good...
 
Okay, I could work with this I thought. Now for the really, really big test! Her coat, which was soooo stunning to me. I just gotta do this right I thought or it's going to the trash.

 
The BEST!!!
 
I did step away to see things that I didn't see while upon it and finished her coat put in snow and this is my artist rendition! I took her to Michael's and had it framed. Another challenge because I wanted her eyes and her fur to POP! I picked out what kinda caught my eye, but I was scared.

 
 
 
 The Final cut! The brushed antique gold trim brings out her eyes and the brown frame makes her fur just say "touch me"!


I was never so pleased with how "she" turned out in my life! Usually I don't like what I do, but this was different! I was inspired after I started painting...finished in two days and my hand didn't let me forget! LOL So now...I have to get back to painting my babies...I have too, they've been waiting so patiently. So back to little Nadia (1st Peep)!

From my heart to yours... Hugs, Judie www.loveisforevernursery.com

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Well it's been a year now

As you know it has been a very hard year for me trying to pick up the pieces and be me again without him, it's just still a struggling issue. I have tried different avenues to get me together and it's better some days than others but still leaves me thinking and veering off course. I keep busy but it's not really where I am trying to get back to but simply accomplishing things that we spoke of doing around the house and I am coming to the end of that road. I finally got some closure. My husband now has his marker (after a year, numerous phone calls, a lawyer and them putting it on someone else's loved one's grave. Just another chapter). Now, I am dealing with the fact that a very close family member has been very recently diagnosed with breast cancer. I truly pray that it's in very early stages and all is contained, better yet that they are totally wrong!
I have been working on updating my website. Started a memorial page dedicated to those of us that grieve for a loved one and I have several books that I ordered and working on reading to help me through this. The one I am in now "How to go on living when someone you love dies" by Therese A. Rando, Ph.D. I finished "When will I stop hurting" by June Cerza Kolf and I do know now that I am not going crazy with these torrents of emotions.
I can't remember if I said this but I have been taking guitar lessons, I think it will be a while before I really make sounds that I recognize. lolrothf I have a baby finished named Cameron, but I can't show any pictures until the contest is over in a couple of weeks! LOL I love how beautiful the skin tone coloring came out and the mohair from TNGUN is so wonderful and it stays baby soft, she may be my top mohair supplier next to Slumberland!

From my heart to yours... Hugs, Judie

Friday, August 5, 2011

I have so much catching up to do, but I have good news to make up for it.

As you know or have figured out by now that I haven't been doing much reborning since my husband died, but been trying to get back to doing what I love. I really can't believe that he will be gone from me a whole year next month. I truly cannot figure out where I've been or what happened to time. I did do something that has given me a great deal of comfort and that was having a necklace that I designed custom made. Truly OOAK, our initials, the rose represents all of the ones I will never see again, my broken heart surrounds his heart that was made from a bracelet of his, the diamond represents all of my past, present and future tears. They did an EXCELLENT job on it, I was sooooo pleased that I cried. Now if I could just get the cemetary to get his marker and put it on his grave. I think that this would help me with better closure. Since they are now having financial problems I feel like I am getting the run around, it's almost 10 months. No, I don't understand it either, but my next move is a lawyer.

I haven't been idle, I painted the bathroom took a while to get those stripes painted one by painful one, but I did it. Guess I did a good job because everyone thought it was wallpaper!

Then I have worked off and on with my 16 inch porcelain "re-dressed dolls. This one has been sitting patiently on my sewing machine for months and I decided that I was tired of looking at her half finished wedding gown and it was time to do something about it. It really helped me to get going and complete "Bella", so pretty is the crying bride from Italy...tears of joy or is her heart broken too? You decide...and then

I finished two more. Yeahh! The Russian ballerina "Anastasia," her dance of "life is but a masquerade". Seeings that she has big flat feet and that makes her truly interesting! LOL She inspired me to do...


The hula dancer, Kailani from the beautiful Oahu island of Hawaii, so "hang loose baby". I was so pleased with how she turned out! Still have a few more to do, but again I feel that I made progress. Hope that they can get a home too!


Now there's Jeffery he's got an official name now, still a ways to go. Got his front teeth reshaped and painted after that great idea from my sister reborner. Loooks soooo much better that way, instead of those "George Washington" choppers look! No OFFENSE! He just didn't have baby looking teeth. I was glad that someone came up with the brilliant idea to try it and it worked. He still needs several more layers of flesh tone then I will put his more recent pics up. Gosh, I just can't wait to start rooting this huge head! May take me until Christmas! LOLROTF I do think that he's going to be a real cutie!

 

Moving on. Anyhooo, I cut off all of my hair again, just to hot and humid here with taking care of the yard and fighting the moles and voles was killing me...although I am an avid animal lover, they have GOT to go. I gave them every chance to evacuate my yard and they refused. Hope the pest control man gets them all to stay away because they are tearing up and killing my husband's yard and I've got a problem with that! Once again, straightened out my nursery and put things where they belong so that I could start back on the dolls; can't do clutter.

Then I took the plunge; Lil D and I took almost a 9 hour road trip to Gatlinburg, TN. First time drove that far alone although we did get to follow some friends for safety and 5 hour Energy is wonderful even if it only lasted for 4 with me. I had one incident that almost made me regret it when we got there, but God is GOOD and that's another story. All I can say is thank God for OnStar! No, no accidents!!! All in all it turned out to be a wonderful interesting time with family and friends! Lil D and I even got to see a real LIVE WILD black bear in his own natural element coming out of the open woods. Gorgeous specimen of an animal! Wished I could have gotten my camera, truly a Kodak moment, but I had to get to her to safety and remind kids the bear was not to be played with, it was NOT a toy. Lil D is tiny with a big heart but I wasn't going to let her end up a bear snack being brave either! She did really well there and back. I was so proud of her, still, I wished she could have driven some of the way, she slept in her high style puppy car seat the whole way unless we stopped!  With her "cool pad" underneath (it was HOT but not nearly as humid as home). Riding in style, she had her special little harness keeping her safely fastened in place. It even has a little drawer to hold her treats and things. I just loved the fact that no matter what, we were together. The boys had fun at the birdy sitter too! LOL


I got to see the meaning of "smokey mountains"! How cool was that! An AWESOME view! I even worked up the nerve to go to the movie by myself a few days ago. Saw "Cowboys and Aliens" my kinda movie! Funny how a medium popcorn and soda was twice as much as the movie.



 Okay, that brings you pretty much up to date on what has been going on while I was MIA.
I am trying to do better, I still have my moments and my website is so far behind it's sad, but I am doing one thing at a time, made you first. It's still been hard to focus and it took a while, however, I got these two both finished! So here are my fraternal twins, hopefully to find a home (or homes) soon (hint).

These big baby girls were born August 1st at 4:06 pm and 4:14 pm.
Wispy (mohair) haired baby sis Raven has blue gray luminous glass eyes is 8 lbs. 6 ozs., 28 inches  and youngest by 8 minutes (lol). Big sister Paris with a full head of (human) hair and Masterpiece "Tempest" soft silicone eyes, that have tiny veins which is neat if I don't decide to change them, no doubt it could happen. She is 9 lbs. 2 ozs., 26 inches.
I haven't figured out that 2 inch difference yet since they both have the same BB #5298 bodies, but I will be doing a re-measure to ensure that I wasn't daydreaming when I did it. If it is correct maybe due to the fact that they were ordered at different times? Works for me anyway! LOL They just adore and comfort each other (hint, hint) and I just adore those chubby little hands and legs!! Still have to finish their portfolio:



Teary eyed little Paris has spit bubbles and so fussy unless cuddled, lots of cuddling. Happy little Raven has a milky tongue look and loves to eat and play with her big sis.

Well again brought you up to speed and I am apologizing for the length of time. I won't make any promises that I will be back tomorrow or next week or next month, but I will try and not make it so long. It makes for long reading! LOL
I will get it together and I will keep making myself move each foot, one in front of the other with God's help. Just thanks for being there!


From my heart to yours... Hugs, Judie

Sunday, May 1, 2011

boy things that do happen

Well FB and my blog were on the blink so I figured if FB was working again, maybe, just maybe this would be working right. I still have my pet projects, painting the bathroom now that my "private jacuzzi is in (nice I might add). After all that has happened, now this. Yesterday my brother was ran over by a car while working in his own front yard. He was drug 40 feet (mind you we aren't getting any younger and he's older than me...that's all I am gonna say on that.). A young kid (20ish) lost control around a curve while speeding, thank God he had a conscious, he stayed there with him and called 911. I made my prayer, in short, to just let him have a few bumps or at worst a broken leg...seeing how he's a good 6 feet tall. God did answer my prayer. He does have a broken leg in 2 places which will require surgery, several hickeys on his head (no signs of brain trauma so far), a very busted-up lip, lots of road rash (hopefully not getting infected) and a possible (?) broken thumb. Being him still cracking jokes when he wasn't in pain, so that was a good sign. Going to check on him in a few. Just needed to get some updates going!

Now I can admit that I haven't been idle! Paris has been fully rooted with a full head of hair (never again) Lol. She has human hair and now I got the wild idea that she needed a twin. I tell ya, I think that I have lost my mind, they are going to be identical but different as day and night. This baby (Cookie aka Raven) will have wispy hair for sure! LOLROTF Needless to say, I can't give Paris a birthday until her twin is done so she's just put together. Duh!  But I wanted you to see how she has progressed so I am going to do a sneaky peak just for you. As much as I hated rooting all of that hair, I love it! Now that I can breath again, I am going to get started on Raven after I leave the hospital!


From my heart to yours... Hugs, Judie

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Cuddles WIP

  I just went through the 6th month anniversary of losing my love and that was so hard accepting that as being fact, it's like there's no definitive concept of time, a dream that you never seem to wake up from. I kinda stopped in my tracks when it hit me. So I drug myself through that and trying to get on track again, the hard part is staying there. Two steps up, four steps back, but I have faith that I will learn how to cope better each day. I just miss him so much and every time you look up it seems like it's another holiday of some sort.    So I had been working on other projects that I needed to get completed or felt I needed to complete, installing a walk in tub (for me,  I like to call my own private jacuzzi), a scrapbook of my husband and finishing my mom's. I did it and once again, I am finally feeling a resemblance of  norm. okay, okay...lol, back to the point at hand. CUDDLES.

 


Well Cuddles nka Paris is in the process of her rooting! I am using human hair that has a really nice curl and with her honey skin tones, blue eyes and chubby cheeks I think she's going to be another cutie! I need to do updates of her progress for sure. I want to get a little more hair in before I do but that won't be long.


From my heart to yours... Hugs, Judie