Feeling kind of morose, yes it happens when I reach my saturation point. I have so many beautiful kits that I want to do (I just got my BB kits Meg and Aisha today, they are adorable). It’s when my hands start doing everything but what I want them to do. A side effect from CTS, and yes I had the surgery on both hands. They still go numb and cramp up, and by over compensating it affects my neck and upper back in the worst way, especially when rooting baby heads. Even typing takes its toll. Then my heart aches, took me years to figure it out why and what was happening to me at this time of year, every year. I still miss my moma (always spelled it this way and she thought it was too funny). It was my special name for her. Next month since I lost her on the 13th, it will be 13 years; still there are times it seems just like yesterday. She was my inspiration and when I didn’t have any confidence in myself, she knew just how to restore it and give me that push (that’s what mama’s do don’t they). When I started faltering she always had a way of lifting my budding strength of mind and never put me down (even when I thought it was a silly whim). She would tell me “to just do the best that you can and be the best at what you do, no matter what it is”. She taught me how to sew using dolls and up until now I had lost the desire to sew. Before she died I was making wedding gowns and veils for clients, that aspiration died with her and I just stopped. I got rid of everything that made me think of sewing except for her machine, mine and my serger, but they were covered or in a sewing cabinet for years. I couldn’t even bring myself to repair my husband or my things, but I don’t know I guess I figured may be one day, I might want to do it again, maybe. Yet again…I just miss her and only someone that’s been there can truly understand that funky heavy emotional state that envelops every fiber of your being when it gets close to that time of year. It just sneaks upon you.
Sorry, I am not trying to sound morbid; I hope that I don’t come across as that. Getting back on track, to keep my skills intact, I have to decide what I can do to keep up without over doing it. While I wait to restore some functional use by letting my hands semi-rest, it came to me when I saw them, and decided to do what I haven’t done in a long time! I purchased some (technically) generic porcelain dolls and decided on what I wanted to do with them. It came to me, dressing or should I say redressing them…my way. Knowing how to reborn now, to change what I want to change to get them there, whether it be reshaping eyelashes that reach the eyebrows unnaturally or changing the lip shades and skin tones if no more than subtlety. I have just about completed my first three darling young ladies named Anya (a beautiful blond with a love of salsa mixed with a little Asian flare) Panya (the dancing fairy of whom I am very pleased with, yes I know that their names are very close, however they really are two distinct names that fit their personalities) and my first Dasia (a dark sultry beauty that transformed beautifully, if I may be so presumptuous). Well here they are:
From my heart to yours...I hope that you like them